I love the brisker morning air, the sign of falling leaves and the fields of sunflowers that bloom carelessly in clusters. They've always been an invigorating sight of change for me, but currently they also serve as a bittersweet reminder that this time last year, I lost our baby.
Some of you may know that I miscarried last August, but many of you may not know that I am pregnant again. (I’m 26 weeks pregnant in fact!) We’re having a girl. She is strong, she is healthy, and everyday I say a little prayer that Heavenly Father will let us keep her. If you know me, you know I am not a negative or despairing person. So why am I overshadowing a happy announcement with the unfortunate and irreversible past of my previous miscarriage? And why has it taken me over 6 months to announce on social media that we are pregnant again? I haven't formed a concrete explanation yet, but I do know this. Miscarriage has changed me… especially since becoming pregnant again. I see and I feel things differently than I did with my first pregnancy and in my attempt to understand and explain those thoughts and feelings, I revert to what I always do when I need further clarity and comfort. I write, I take photos, I create…

After talking about our miscarriage last year, (you can see below or the original post here) I was surprised and pretty humbled by the amount of people who messaged me. They told me how they had been there and how grateful they were for my words. Some even said they wished they had felt like they could talk about it when they were going through it...

I wanted to do something completely out of the norm and special for my husband's 30th birthday but nothing felt like a right fit. Scott was really disliking the thought of turning thirty so the common 30-year-old themed birthday parties swimming around Pinterest ("Dirty thirty, "thirty blows", etc) weren't fitting. I wanted a theme that was positive, inspirational, but still silly and fun. That's when I came up with the idea to throw him a Rocky Balboa birthday party to help him "Rock 30"!

My husband is a huge Rocky (1-4) fan so it felt like the perfect fit! Especially when recalling that he air-boxed to Eye of the Tiger at one of his grade school talent shows... yup. Perfect!

I searched the internet for party ideas, but other than a few cake designs I had ZERO luck finding any pins or ideas for a Rocky themed party. So here you go Pinterest!

 Ideas for a positive 30th birthday party for the Rocky Balboa fan Or anyone needing a reminder of why they are going to ROCK 30!

Pic of Rocky fighting Mr. T... because Scott is turning thir-T! Huh huh? :)

 

What I Did

Everything including the theme was a surprise to my husband so I needed simple decorations that would be really easy to put together the night before but still look awesome!
So...
- I put a red tablecloth on the table.
- Threw up red, white, and blue streamers.
- Added red and white balloons here and there.
- Cut out a large circle of yellow construction paper and taped it to 3 strands of streamers to create a  "SCOTT ROCK'S 30" championship belt.
- And printed a few table-sized Rocky Balboa portraits to scatter on the table.






30 Gifts for 30 Years
The decorations were simple (I ran out of time to do all of my ideas!) but they gave a bold impression and a perfect place for me to put my "30 GIFTS FOR 30 REASONS WHY YOU WILL ROCK 30".
I found the 30 gifts for 30 on Pinterest here, but added my own spin by adding a little message to coordinate with each gift. Each message listed one reason why I thought he was awesome and would rock 30. I won't lie, if you decide to do something like this... it was A LOT of work! Wrapping 30 presents and writing 30 personalized messages takes MUCH longer than I anticipated it would, but seeing how great it looked on the table and seeing Scott's expression when he walked in made it completely worth it!





 Conclusion
He absolutely loved the theme! I played songs from Rocky while he opened presents and neither of us could stop laughing! Not only did he know all the songs, but he knew what movie and which scene they were from. Nerd. :)
Later in the evening I gave him another surprise by inviting friends to slip into our house while he was off on a run. He totally caught us in the act, but it was still great!

I sure love this guy. He doesn't get spoiled very often so it was fun to go a little above and beyond for him this year to show him how much I and others care about him.

Birthday kisses for Daddy

Why Scott's Awesome #16 "He's training for another triathlon!"

One of his gifts, a pair of sunglasses. After opening them he runs to the computer to show me a picture of Rocky wearing a pair just like them... I am good!

One of the last photos I took of Scott and Alexa before he deployed.

 All feels right in the world with this guy back home! Seeing him walk up to us and embrace us for the first time in 6 months felt amazingly unreal. In the photo below you can see that Alexa was shy at the airport but less than an hour later she was snuggling and bringing him books to read. She always was a Daddy's girl. I'm so glad she warmed up to him so quickly. It melts my heart to see my two favorite people reunited again.

It poured, sprinkled, and drizzled all day every day this week. Alexa and I enjoy getting outside so between the energetic rain and her tireless cold, we were both starting to feel cooped up. Luckily the clouds took a break and even parted to give the sunshine time to play on the puddles and dance on our faces. We chose a path above Obernarnbach and it was lovely, but the chilly air refused to be ignored so it was a short one. Even so, it felt wonderful to be out walking, exploring new trails, and enjoying nature again.

Winter months don't guarantee snow in Germany, but regardless of the month it is guaranteed you'll find locals walking the trails trickling the hillsides of Germany. On cold days I'm tempted to stay indoors and snuggle up with a good book or movie, but then I see how the light is touching the hillside and the photographer in me is quickly stuffing on my boots. When it comes to exploring nature Alexa is a very willing companion. Like a true German she embraces the elements and refuses to be kept from going outside. She is not deterred in the slightest by cold or frigid weather and I too find that escaping for a walk during winter in the countryside is exactly what my mind and lungs needed.

Sometimes I plan a hike, but most days Alexa and I never know where we'll go or what we'll see. We just grab our coats and drive until we see an interesting trail or landscape. This week we tried a trail above Queidersbach that we frequently pass on our way to Kaiserslautern. Most of it was paved, but a small stretch turned into dirt and gravel and I enjoyed watching Alexa daintily try, in over-sized boots, to step around every pebble in her path.
Even without snow during the holidays, I find Germany breathtaking. Coming from a very dry place like Idaho it's odd to see everything so green during winter! I don't think anything ever stops growing here and neither it seems, does my fondness for this country.

♥ Tanae

This is the second portion in my Mother - Daughter self-portrait series, inspired by Wherever I am With You.  Every month I'm making the effort to get behind the frame with my daughter. Click here to read my reasons for doing this project and to see last month's getting in the frame moment. It's only been two months, but I'm already seeing how this project is stretching me creatively. Self portrait's in themselves are tricky for me, so adding a toddler to the mix has added a completely new dimension of challenges! Especially today having her in the Ergo carrier. Alexa is happy as long as I'm moving, which meant I had to be very quick while setting up the tripod and making adjustments in the camera. But like always, I'm impressed with my ability to adapt and Alexa's ability to make everything in life more fun. I can't imagine what this deployment would be like without her with me. I'm sure grateful for her sweet disposition and the loving comfort she adds to my life.

If you're joining me in this self-portrait challenge, or you're just dabbling in a photo here and there, I'd love to hear your thoughts! How's it going? What challenges are you facing taking portraits with you and your children in the same frame?