Sorenson Snippets: 2017

365, Family, life snippets, Personal Photo Projects, pregnancy, Pregnancy After Miscarriage, self portrait

Pregnancy After Miscarriage | "The Voice"

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

The 2nd photo in my Pregnancy After Miscarriage series.

Six weeks ago, my husband comes around the corner excited and congratulating me, “Tanae! You’re halfway there!” Seeing my confusion he grabs my hands and quickly explains, “You’ve officially been pregnant longer than the days you have left!”

He hugs me and a smile escapes my lips. As I embrace him my thoughts wrap around the baby inside me and I let his encouragement and excitement sweep through me, “I did it.” But even before my smile fades, my mind is invaded by that all too familiar voice that seems relentless in its efforts to find permanent residence inside of me. “It could still happen.” It says, “You could still lose it… “ “This voice” (as I’m calling it) I know is nothing more than fear and doubt trying to whittle down my faith... Every week, sometimes every day, I go to battle with it. Most day’s I win, but other day’s it manages to sneak up on me. It’s been quieter since I passed the first trimester, and as I near the third its volume continues to lesson… but I’d be lying if I said it no longer exists. I’d be lying if I said I don’t sigh a grateful breath of relief every time I feel this girl inside me squirm or kick.

I’m slowly coming to terms that this voice, may never completely go away. It may be a permanent scar and reminder of my miscarriage, so more than ever I cling to my faith and to the blessings in my life.

Today in particular, I am grateful for this girl. I’m grateful that despite my shortcomings as a mother, she still embraces and loves me whole-heartedly. I’m grateful for restless nights, potty wake up calls, achy hips, shrinking wardrobes, even the ever-increasing struggle to latch my sandals and tie my shoes! Because every inconvenience and every discomfort means another day I get to carry this special life inside me. Friends! What are you grateful for today?

If you're just jumping in on this photo series and my personal story with miscarriage, you can read how and why I started this project here.
Or you can follow my journey on instagram. I'm using the hashtag #myjourneyaftermiscarriage.

Children, Kaiserslautern, life snippets, Maternity, Personal Photo Projects, Photography, pregnancy, Pregnancy After Miscarriage

A PERSONAL PROJECT | PREGNANCY AFTER MISCARRIAGE

Saturday, August 19, 2017

Fall is coming...

I love the brisker morning air, the sign of falling leaves and the fields of sunflowers that bloom carelessly in clusters. They've always been an invigorating sight of change for me, but currently they also serve as a bittersweet reminder that this time last year, I lost our baby.
Some of you may know that I miscarried last August, but many of you may not know that I am pregnant again. (I’m 26 weeks pregnant in fact!) We’re having a girl. She is strong, she is healthy, and everyday I say a little prayer that Heavenly Father will let us keep her.

If you know me, you know I am not a negative or despairing person. So why am I overshadowing a happy announcement with the unfortunate and irreversible past of my previous miscarriage? And why has it taken me over 6 months to announce on social media that we are pregnant again? I haven't formed a concrete explanation yet, but I do know this. Miscarriage has changed me… especially since becoming pregnant again. I see and I feel things differently than I did with my first pregnancy and in my attempt to understand and explain those thoughts and feelings, I revert to what I always do when I need further clarity and comfort. I write, I take photos, I create…

After talking about our miscarriage last year, (you can see below or the original post here) I was surprised and pretty humbled by the amount of people who messaged me. They told me how they had been there and how grateful they were for my words. Some even said they wished they had felt like they could talk about it when they were going through it...

It touched me and made me think that maybe there is a need for people to see more “life that falls short of perfection” on the internet. Regardless of whether that sentiment is true, I can’t shake the whisper inside my heart that’s saying, maybe I shouldn’t keep my experiences and cathartic practices to just myself anymore.

So I'm steppin' out of my comfort zone a little and deciding to publicly share the results of some of those outlets with you.
The photo of myself holding my daughter is the first photo of a series I’m calling "Pregnancy After Miscarriage". This series will be raw, it will be real, okay really... it will just be me in my creative bubble playing and figuring things out, but you’re more than welcome to follow along. I’ll be posting most of my thoughts and work to Instagram with the hashtag #myjourneyaftermiscarriage, but if you feel inclined, I hope you follow along, use the tag, or join the conversation. ( I promise the posts will be shorter there!)
This may be my journey and story with miscarriage, but we all have a story. Who knows, maybe your heart is whispering too and maybe your story might be just the thing that someone else needs to hear.